Paradise, lost

It is heresy, this paradise, alone.

Flashbacks, recoils,
numb just from the tone.
The thunder's clapping,
and it has struck me in the soul.

people that get hit by lightning,
I hear they cant feel cold,
but, hell, what would I know?

Not a god damn thing.
I was raised by angels,
they taught me of holy communion.
Now I hold it with the silence,
I think it really likes my music.

Ah, but to be muted.
I would speak in glances,
and none that knew me would confuse them.

Surely I'm just misunderstood,
I've learned to hide my feelings,
and now I lost them all, for good.

Two robbers,
were crucified with a king,
now I'm offering my diamond crucifixes,
for the Pontius Pilate in my genes.

Mayday.

Forgive me.
I will never be like anyone else.
Never understood how anyone felt.
Locked in prison,
writing lifetime sentences.
Come set me free.
I'm writing you, this letter,
from the cell in which I hold me,
my holiest of holies.

No chances for parolee.

Barring a miracle.

Demons

I'm dancing with old devils,
Now that they've grown horny.
We might fuck something up real good.
Time is two-stepping before me.
Back and forth.
Back.

And for this relapse
there will be hell to pay.
But nice guys finish last,
or so they say;
And they
are right.

Death Valley

I oftentimes feel like
the loneliest man in these masses-
the protestant amongst catholics,
an extra-familial bastard.

How I wish I had something to look forward to,
but if there is one thing my retrospection has taught me,
it is that the future is not always afforded you.

And loneliness is the worst poverty;

If only,
my memory bankrupture could buy intwo new beginnings,
whose solace would only be in penching the pennies
that I'm throwing into well-being,
on the Eve of a labotomy.

Wealth is wasted
when tossed into dry river basins.
These deserts have flooded my mind.
A blackbox has been caged in my ribs.

I crashed into a canyon,
now I need someone to de-cipher
the last words my heart ever captured.

Pull me out of this death valley,
the nostalgia is killing me.
And no matter how much I wish,
these lost hopes are not full-filling me.

1863

The truth will set you free.
Thus She founded a pact with me.
I would preach her name,
and she would unchain my destiny.

Hear ye, clearly,
all men are created equal
but born differently,
take, name, weight, race,
produce Timothy McVeigh's-
conceiving evil, deceived;
for you cannot liberate
the kingdom for God
in wakes,
they have slumbered.

Ignorant of solar systems,
wherein suns, moons, and stars
have coexisted since the start
that never started.

Where sons are not bastardized
where crescents are not sickles
where stars never had to be holocaust victims

They disgrace the revelation to man,
whose decrees, regardless of prophet,
have been of kindness, mercy,
and love.

I swear on the Quran, Torah, and Bible-
I aint lyin and this aint libel, or liable.
But
It is the right,
of every hue-man being
to be free.
To be remembered
without televisions.
To be given opportunity.
Immunity from hunger.
Water to drink their thirst up.
Malignancy remissions.

This cancer
is growing on the hearts of our children,
whom we keep filling with divisions,
expecting them to equate hollow masks
as true faces.

How I love thee, wretched earth,
bittersweet affliction, blessed curse.

Your slavery is a mental sickness,
an infection borne upon severance from the heart.
Something's missing
On second thought.

Give us,
us,
free.

Quantum Physics

Hello tomorrow,
your stars are all ghastly sorrows
of light that has left us, bygone.

We burnt out so long ago;
blunt roach smoke;
ashes
to dust.

Light one
for those black lung'd up,
Coughing up endings.

Off in the distance,
they're already gone.
We just don't see it yet.

Light one, for those spliffin,
because you got it raw,
and find it hard to cope with existence.

It is at the end of a tunnel vision:
though surrounded by darkness,
if you focus, it gets closer.

I have been lost in the glare,
on the fringes of forever,
Praying upon fraying seems.

Lifting the last photons
to their rightly position.

They're bleeding, across the skies-
We will just never perceive it as such.
I look into the future, sometimes eye-

Feel it.

The light is bleeding through my fingers.
Because even though stars may burn out
the light will always linger,
into
infinity.

Smokestacks

Unusually grown concrete roses
teach the Babylonians of hope, lest
their wilting contest the decrees of growth.

Sometimes you end up between a rock, and
a hard place that may delegate your cards;
but we don't fold, or hold orgami

as an art of uncommon conventions.
There are jacks of all trades, some of them jack,
some of them tuckin a gun in their laps,
like a napkin, the casket is coming
to catch that which awaits its ends in a
Stack. It's all smoke and mirrors. Appearance.
Looks can deceive thus some have come to be
leave only when they see their blood isn't

Green

Chuch Mouse Quiet

three kids, a trailer, and frames
of a hallow distant home
her dead-beat husband never finished
15 years ago

Children couldn't go to college
Knowledge cost too much
Momma only got 20 grand a year
which will always prosper us:
Prosperous?

Slaving out and starving
crushed
'n the recycling been garbage

Always wanted something more
it's just hard, when the cards fall,
all fall,
down.

Lady Luck fucked her marriage up.
Cheating unbalanced carriage rust.
Fucked.

Now the circumstances
are swallowing kids alive;
down on bended knee,
facing the truth
that fingers crossed behind.

Dear God,
get me out of hell.
Money speaks
and thus your thoughts are hushed.

As silent as a church mouse
three kids, in a trailer
in a

Framed
Predestination.

Immolation

I don't even remember what she looks like,
ain't that a shame?
another amnesic glitch erased from the matrix

i would like
to control an alternate reality
and delete these restarts.
restarts.
restarts.
Void of brain tumors;
dependent upon defibrillators just to live:
constantly losing my conscience.

I forgive and forget,
the emphasis being on the latter.
Now these ghosts are amidst
my everyday matters.

Im ghost-busting,
dan aykroyd excluded.
I have been hanging from this noose,
the time has come to loose it.

I take this day as my desire,
she is the light of my darkened fire.
I have discovered the solar flares,
and wish the grace of immolation;
until death do us part.

Just let me face it
and taste the loss of my fondest breath.
I think I will discover the sweetest things in life.

Gang Violence

I pray that, one day, every man will be able to love his brother, regardless of the color of his flag. Far too many have fallen while sparring in their drab.

21 gun salute.

My cousin doesn't even discuss it. Killing for apparent reasons. I know it affected him because he has nightmares that make him scream from his sleep. I love him, but I just wish he could dream again.

5 and 6 gun salute.

My Cuz spilled blood,
Blood spilled floods of segregation.
Such rage for opposite spectra,
Who can stem these tides of hatred.

You wanna be a soldier? Real life warrior? Maybe you haven't seen the aftermath of battle. Trails of ashes leading home. Killing for colors: read and blew through bones.

So before you strap up,
ask yourself
are you ready for war?

I've seen one too many fallen soldiers.

The world doesn't need one more.

Projected Reality

Drunk,
Dead:
Lost in themselves.
Forcefed life, locked in a cell.

And they be shootin up everynight.
Exhuming vain contusions.

Homogeneity,
everybody's the same;
but most these motherfuckers wont realize it
until every body's the same.

Inheritance deferred.

Rest in peace
to my brothers,
lost,
inside these
cement walls and steel bars.
Ill pour out a little liquor
drop,
after drop,
after shot.

Don't forget the bigger picture
looking through broken bottle shards.

She is my sunshine

She must be the extra rib

salvaged from my sunken treasure chest.

I died so many moons ago,

but she has come to resurrect-

My Soulstice.

Now I feel her hand gently forming solar winds.

Realigning metaphorms I've shattered from within.

The day I look into her eye the earth will be eclipsed

By the reflection of God I think I will see inside her glimpse.

Have I mentioned I've never spoken to her in private.

I think that's exactly what I need.

Someone that doesn't care about the past,

Someone that trusts that I am free.

Because I've been running from myself so long

Some have mistaken that run as me.

I know you've been hurt,

But I can heal it if you let me.

I've learned from experience.

I know what its like,

To reassemble 1,000,000 pieces

into four chambers.

I have solved this puzzle my whole life.

It assembled a map with an x marked

On your heart.

I want to unlock the shine

in your eyes,

if you'll just let me go blind.

When I sneeze around you,

Just take it as me saying you're beautiful.

Because you are.

I woke up this morning, and realized I had been hibernating for years. I have not experienced life because I have been afraid. I fucked so many things up that I thought it'd be best to lock myself away, in doing so I became a monster. I have tried to repress all of the nightmares, daydreams, and insomnia, but now I feel rested. I realize it takes more courage to confront your demons than it does to embrace them.

I am now going to kill everything that made it so easy to kill. This is suicide for the sake of life. I will no longer try to be someone I am not, nor will I cower from who I am becoming. I feel blind now, and it is the most captivating loss of sensation I have ever experienced. I have bottled pieces of eternity in heartbreak and now I am getting drunk on reconstruction. I am going to try to find the hope I lost a lifetime ago.

The past is the past and I will not fall into its bear traps.

I encourage everyone to love like you've never lost, to breathe every breath like you are suffocating on thin air. Stare into the sun. You may lose your vision, but it will be worth the insight.

God bless you all.